"good" hip?

i really do hate the fact that i can still talk about my hips.

i am really discouraged as this journey has had so many ups and downs.

i think i underestimate my resilience and how strong i really am.

there are so many things i wish i could do though!

my birthday is coming up and i'm not excited. i can't go on an adventure without pain, i can't go play games on the beach, i can't go to Disneyland, i can't go kayaking in La Jolla Cove...ugh!

i have been going to physical therapy, for the past 7 weeks, and our conversation on tuesday was about the possibilities of what could be going on with my hips and when i should make an appt with my orthopedic. today, thursday at pt i was asked, so, did you make that appointment with your surgeon?
my current fears are more than anything for my good hip. i have to get my head around the possibility of another surgery if my labrum is tearing. as for my post-op hip, i just really want an answer for the pain.

i can't sleep through the night, and concentration is difficult. all i want to do is curl up with ice/heat, eat chocolate, and drink coffee/beer...can we say comfort items???

so in honor of looking on the bright side i want to share the top five items (no particular order) that are keeping me sane...

#1 | The Bachelor

don't judge too harshly.
it's mind numming, and all i need right now
is something to take my mind off of pain.

The Bachelor

#2 | White Collar

#3 | Red Hook Long Hammer IPA

#4 | coffee

especially coffee from boutique coffee roasters/shops...amazing!

#5 | chocolate

i don't discriminate...
preferably with caramel, or peanuts/peanut butter

seven weeks

i am over two years post op and the pain in my hips is becoming more of an issue.

i started pt, again, about 7 weeks ago.

i am really getting nervous as my "good" hip hurts and the "bad" hip is killing me.

i haven't slept through the night in 4 nights, and my emotionally state is quickly going to crumble...

the one thing that has been brought to my attention as a possible cause...or more like i have done research and want to see if this is the problem...is iliopsoas tendonitis.

i have a pain that gets worse after exercise, standing, sitting, etc. I feel the pain when i wear out the muscles and irritate the area. the pain is the worst one-two days after i exhaust the joint. the flair-ups take about a week or more to calm down.

i am definitely thankful for the mobility i do have, but am starting to hit the reality that what i am doing needs to be as minimal, as the joint and the iliopsoas are pretty angry when i am active...

so here is to drinking a beer, icing the hip, and convincing myself that everything will be okay...

http://www.arthroscopichipsurgeon.com/images/psoas-impingement.jpg

i am hoping no more labral tears are involved,
but i am assuming this is what my psoas is doing to my hip

PT Round Two

alright, verdict is i am weak.

no news to me.

nothing majorly wrong, so the pt thinks. we will see how much this fella knows...

tight psoas and tight back muscles, while i have weak abs and weak gluts.

ultimately i will me beefing it up...well, if you count clam shells that open slightly and pulling my abs through my belly button to the floor, then i am beefing it up. *lots of sarcasm*

you know what, anything to bring the pain level down.

bring it on!

new shoes!

 

you know what that means?

yes!

i am picking up the running shoes.

it has taken a year and three months, but i can do it. i am only running 1.1 miles, but i am getting that time down and will work up the mileage. 

i have been mixing in the yoga, keeping up with the stretching, and mixing in low weights. this has been one LONG haul!

i am by no means pain free, BUT my body can move. i am capable to move how a body should!

if you are struggling through this process, know that it takes time. 

take a look at where you came from and where you are now. i can only hope you see progress. we have good days, we have bad days, BUT my worst days after are nowhere close to what they were before.

you can make it through!

confused...

i got the call from my surgeon today. i'm still wondering if it was good news or bad news. the build up for this last week has been hope for an answer. a definite answer as to why i am in this much pain.

good news is that my labrum and cartilage look great. everything is attached, no debris, looking good. the only abnormality, if that is even what you can call it that, is that the capsule is not healed yet. the capsule is removed/pulled away during surgery so that the surgeon can pull the femur out of the socket, and get to the femur and acetabulum for bone removal.

my surgeon doesn't usually do an mri-a at this point post-op so we really don't know what the capsule should look like. we are at a complete loss as to what might be causing me this much pain at this point. this is deflating. all i wanted was a, "this is what is causing the pain".

i am left with a waiting period and praying that things will settle down. my 3 months of disability may be extended and with no answers i am wondering what is next. i am completely confused and baffled by my body. just plain confused.

i will get in to see the pt, hopefully in the next two weeks, to see what we can do to get my body functioning properly again.

thankfully my hope is not in my abilities or what i can accomplish, but in the unseen. this is not the end all to be all. this is just the continuation of this journey. i have more to gain from this struggle and i don't want to miss the opportunity while i wallow in my pain.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

physical therapy...

this has been a long haul so far. i get discouraged easily and i get worn out from the constant something with my hip. i know that the atrophy is not getting better, and the first two weeks of work set me back a few. i started out a little too strong out the gate and have crashed! i'm back to only 4-6 hours on my feet and i'm starting a stretching and exercise routine for the specific areas i am weak in. what a difference 2 days has made! the second day of doing the routine and my bodies muscle memory is already kicking in. i could do up to 10 in a row versus the 3!!! i could do the first day! i can already tell what a difference this is going to make in my stamina, strength and in lessening my pain level. thank you rebecca!

my pt routine stuck to the fridge :)

understanding fai

here is a link from an amazing blog by a gal named vanessa. she has been through hip arthroscopy and it is such a blessing to read about the expereience of someone who is on the other end of all of this.

this link is to help people understand what it is like to go through all of this...good words she has, good words.

hurdles

9.23.10

physical therapy in essence was nothing but twenty dollars down the drain. i was told there was nothing my pt could do for me at this point. i had these lofty hopes i could get strenthening underway before surgery hit, but that was crushed. i am more than deflated...i thought there was more i could do pre-op to make post-op life a bit easier. the reality is sobering...

i was even more devastated to find out there might be warning signs of osteoarthritis...talk about a downer. at 26 i shouldn't feel like an 85 year-old woman, but after a long day i hurt...i wake up achy and now the possibility that i will live with the prospect of hip replacement in my lifetime. i might be looking too far ahead, but to know my life will forever be altered by this is a hard pill to swallow.

let's look at the positive. from going to the pt i was able to read the mri-a results, hence the arthritis scare, and find out where my tear is. i have an anterior tear (@ the front of my hip socket). affirming the pain i feel when i sit down is the pain i feel from the tear and not something else. i like having the details, putting the pieces together and knowing where things are jacked up and why i am in pain.

i am ultimately blessed beyond my own belief. i have such an amazing support system that lets me complain and cry when i need to and that is there for me every step of the way. i am thankful to not go at this alone.