almost 6 weeks post!

i've hit almost 6 weeks post-op! lets me be honest, i'm getting pretty bored of this post-op crap. is it over yet? can i take a jog down the street already?!? okay, in reality the jogging down the block isn't going to be happening for quite some time. maybe, just maybe when i have my march 11th appointment i will get the okay to speed-walk, speed-walk!?!

i feel like my stretching just makes my hip hate me even more and walking around getting my body moving is a catch-22. so the deal with moving around is that it is really good for post-op; getting my blood flowing and namely in the hip region, inducing healing. the catch though, is that my hip still hates me for doing it. you say, "what? how does your hip actually hate you?". it SCREAMS at me, yes, it really does scream.

for instance, i went out for a brunch this morning with "m.m." and a little trip to the dog park. oh how amazing it felt to get fresh air and walk around for a good hour. but see, now my hip is whimpering like a little baby. i'm now confined to resting in my bed, curled up in a blanket, soothing my whining hip. she burns, it is a nagging pain that pulsates and jabs. i guess all of this is the process and pushing harder each time will eventually get me where i want to be, but i honestly am getting over.

AND i can't control this constant gain of weight! so i'm taking drastic measure and expecting drastic results...okay, not so drastic, but making lifestyle changes. 9 months is a long time eat without abandon and moving little! the emotional roller coaster of this journey has taken a toll on my eating habits.

i AM getting my hairs cut on thursday...this is all in the direction of the new, good hip me...i need some change to spice all of this up and make me feel pretty despite the extra poundage, i may be confident, but nothing can get a girl down more than not looking the way you would like.

i should have updates about my first stationary bike experience, still kind of nervous about that as i have NO, yes a firm NO, quad muscle in my left leg. i can't lift my left leg when it is straight out, i can't even hold it up!!! there is a nice indentation where a quad muscle would go...but mine is missing!

OH, i drove for the FIRST time yesterday!!! i don't feel confident with driving my black hawk as it is stick, but borrowed the rents and took myself and the dog to the park and even drove myself to a fabulous meat sauce night held by my good friend, "j.t.". that was a nice slice of freedom :)

so, almost six weeks down and the ants have entered my pants...about 4 more and i'm back to the grind. i don't know what is better, the ants, or working again. the working thing is a whole 'nother ball of anxiety, fear and questions...i'll save that for another time...

four weeks post-op

i am officially four weeks post-op. wow, what a journey this has been. i'm starting to forget what pre-op was like. i am starting to forget what the last year of my life was like and kind of happy about that.

i had my four week post-op visit and my surgeon is so pleased. i am probably the best patient that he has seen, post-op, in the last four years of doing this surgery! my range of motion is amazing, we took an x-ray of the refined hip and it looks beautiful, and my pain level is doing astounding! i am pretty proud of where i'm at and then i am also reluctant to get too excited. i still think about all of the things i can't do yet, but try to relish in the things i can do.

i was given the go ahead on the stationary bike today and the go ahead for some stretching. i still shouldn't do too much knee to chest action or internal/external rotation, but i can start to, slowly, work up a sweat. six more weeks and he gives me the go ahead for a whole lot more.

the last day or two have been pretty achy, taking pain pills to sleep, but after the eventful weekend i had it doesn't surprise me. and with that i'm back to the reality of being at home. after an amazing two-weeks up in sierra madre recouping with my brother, his wife and their seven month old baby girl, it is hard to come back to a sense of responsibility and the feeling i need to meet goals. its like my sense of accomplishment has lowered and my need to do more to feel that has increased. i hope that the next 4-6 weeks off of work will be restful and productive in the way a one-hipped girl can be ;p

i am still limited in life, which is hard to deal with. i look like nothing happened to me so the special treatment is gone. this process of recovery is a roller-coaster. you feel amazing one day and the next two you pay for whatever it is you decided to do. it will be slow going from here, but holding onto what i can in the way of progress is going to be so important. and my progress has to be important to me; not the treatment, expectations or rallying from others. this journey is personal and only i can judge or know what it is like for me to recover, and know what i am or am not capable of.

slow and steady is going to win this race...