i'm a formal complainer...

this journey has been a draining one. it takes a lot out of me and alters what i feel like i can and can't do. i visited with my niece yesterday and at 17 pounds it was hard for me to carry her. really?! 17 pounds and i'm done for? or the 2 hour car ride and no narcotics and i can't sleep because of pain, really?!? i can't take on simple things that i take for granite. this is a struggle that is making life hard, hard to keep a smile and hard to keep any sort of pep in my step.

the little pep i had was shattered when on wednesday I made a call to the scheduler in my surgeon's office. this whole time i've been putting all my hope in the idea that i would be given a surgery date in january, and hopefully sooner, hopefully. when talking to the scheduler she said i would maybe be able to get scheduled in february. february?!?!?!?!?! you have got to be kidding me? that would be 4 months from getting the surgery go ahead. that is over a year after this whole fiasco started. that is way too long in my book. isn't that considered patient neglect? needless to say i burst into sobbing of the most epic sorts and quickly turned that utter disappointment into action.

I promptly emailed my surgeon once more with my disappointment and filed a formal complaint with member services. let's give the list of reasons why 4 months is absolutely perposterous...

          +chronic pain
          +with chronic pain comes chronic norco (10/325) use,
            with chronic narcotic (norco) use comes tolerance to pain meds
            and a dependence on such substance
          +increasing my chances of osteoarthritis
            as the de-lamination of cartilage continues
          +as the de-lamination of cartilage continues
            so does my chances of hip replacement,
            and hip replacement in my 40's none-the-less
          +neglect of patient care allowing continued damage,
            and long-term damage to incur

i am so disappointed at the thought that 4 months would be my wait time for surgery. if my healthcare provider can't provide timely care then there is clear neglect. there needs to be more surgeons or they need to not take on such a high patient/member load. when so much is at stake for a patient there needs to be a greater sense of urgency.

needless to say i felt defeated on wednesday and still feel somewhat defeated. my defeat, though, will soon be personal victory and hopefully a victory for others.

^{for i am ready to fall, and my sorrow is continually before me. 
pslam 38:17}